Mutual Agreement

Kids fight. If you don't believe me, you've obviously not spent much time around kids. If you have more than one child under your care, whether you're a nanny, a parent, or just someone who has ever taken care of kids, you will undoubtedly run into nasty disagreements. Otherwise known as arguments.
When I was a kid, growing up with five siblings, we often tried to get away with disagreements by calling them 'debates'. We thought that perhaps a more intelligent sounding name would make up for the nastiness of our fights. Not so. In fact, I think it just served to exasperate my mother more.
Cries of "I'm telling!" and "He started it!" often rang out and the thing we hated most from our mother was for her to say, "I'm not your referee; figure it out on your own." We hated this most because we thought that we'd come to the point where there was no figuring it out on our own. The other person was not to be reasoned with and we needed intervention.
Looking back, I think she was right. In fact, it was only last week that I heard myself saying to Sierra, as she ran to me with cries about her brother's non-sharing habits, "Go back and figure it out with Ryan."

Life Lesson #8: Kids can solve problems without the presence of a referee.

She pouted, and I was reminded of myself.
So what's right? When is it time for me to tell them to figure it out, and when is it time for me to step in?
Obviously, when physical harm is involved, it's time for an authority to take over and mete out punishment. Most times, however, I find that the situation will diffuse on it's own, if the kids are left to themselves. In fact, when Sierra or Ryan have friends over, I prefer to not even be with them. They play so much nicer together when I'm not in the room. Why? Because they're learning to figure it out for themselves. One day they'll appreciate it.